A vote conducted by TV channel Gold has revealed the UK’s favourite modern Christmas cracker jokes.
A joke about US President Donald Trump topped the list, winning Gold’s national competition to come up with the best new modern Christmas cracker joke.
The author of the winning joke, Matt King, a secondary school teacher from Wokingham, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own top gag.
Other topical moments in 2019’s news agenda have been used as material for the top 10 festive funnies, including Love Island, the war of the WAGs, TV series The Crown and gaffes from politicians including Jeremy Corbyn and David Cameron.
Now in its seventh year, the jokes are the winners of an annual festive competition run by TV channel Gold, which challenges the British public to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes, then voted for by the British public.
The Top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes:
1. Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn’t get on with china.
2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.
3. Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.
4. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.
5. What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who.
6. Why doesn’t Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.
7. Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas? Because she’s a swede dish campaigner.
8. What’s the difference between Rudolph’s nose and David Cameron’s autobiography? Only one will be red at Christmas.
9. What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt.
10. What is Olivia Colman’s favourite part of a turkey? The Crown.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, says, “Amongst the political turmoil that seems to have swamped our country this year, we can always rely on British humour to pull us through.
“With subjects ranging from Brexit and Love Island, to Greta Thunberg and Coleen Rooney, there are jokes here to tickle even the biggest of scrooges.”
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says, “The festive period is a time for reflection on the year, and although we’ve certainly had our ups and downs, it’s incredible to see that British wit remains as sharp as ever.”
For the seventh year running, Gold, challenged the British public to tweet original festive gags for the competition.
Entries were shortlisted by a panel of judges – led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau – and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults to reveal the winning jokes.
The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Gold’s Christmas crackers, which were presented to this year’s winners.