My top tips for school holidays

IN case you haven’t noticed, the school six week holidays are now in full swing.

It’s a fact that at this time of year there is a spike in reports of anti-social behaviour. This is not just a coincidence, the two things are inextricably linked.

Things like vandalism, underage drinking, and general roudiness peak at this time of year, when the young scallywags are out roaming the streets.

The ‘reason’ often given for this wanton loutishness is that the poor young pups are ‘bored’ and that there are not enough things for them to do. Diddums.

Well let me tell you, when I was a young whipper snapper there was a lot less in the way of things to entertain us than kids have today.

Nowadays they have the internet, games consoles, hundreds of TV channels, ipods, mobile phones.

When I was a lad the internet was still in black and white. And it was only on for three hours a day.

Instead we had to make our own entertainment.

When I look back at the school holidays of my childhood I remember them as blissful times, full of very happy memories.

We had the times of our lives back then.

Well, you know me, I believe in giving something back. So kids, here’s The Captain’s guide for a fun-filled and lawful summer holidays.

l Football in the park. There are loads of local parks and green spaces. Find one, and then you and all your mates rock up there at about 10am, jumpers for goalposts, 25 a side, and play through until about 5pm.

Then when the clock strikes 5pm, no matter what the score is, shout ‘next goal winner’ and then you’ll all be home in time for tea.

A perfect day’s entertainment.

l Fishing. If all that running around after a bag of wind sounds all a bit too strenuous, then try a spot of angling.

Buy a cheap rod, or make your own using a stick and a bit of fishing line and head down to the banks of The Trent. You can’t beat a nice summer’s day down by the river. I’ll even give you a wave when I sail by in the cruiser.

l Cowboys and Indians. Another favourite pass time of mine when I was youngster was Cowboys and Indians.

No props are needed, and there are no rules, all you have to do is stay in character. You don’t get simpler than that.

l Get on yer bike. I still remember the unadulterated glee I felt when I received by first bike. I’d ride up and down on it all day, prentending I was in the Tour de France. I didn’t need a skate park to enjoy it, either. Nor did I need to indulge in any bunny hops or barspins. All kids have bikes these days, there’s no excuse.

l Make yourself useful. Earn yourself some extra pocket money by going round washing peoples cars. Or boats.

In fact, my poop deck could do with a good scrub. There’s a fiver in it for anyone who’s interested.

So you see, there is actually plenty of exciting things for youngsters to do to keep them out of mischief these summer holidays.