Christmas and elections have so much in common

Steve N Allen
Steve N Allen

I hope you wanted a General Election for Christmas because that’s what we’re getting, writes Steve N Allen.

For me, the news was like getting my Christmas wish early.

That makes sense because Christmas gets earlier every year, why shouldn’t the wishes?

As soon as the August Bank Holiday is over shops start to peddle their red-themed tat, but that’s a rant for another day.

It’s been nearly a century since this country had a December vote.

Those who think things were better back in the olden days should be happy.

Christmas is a time for traditions like wrapping up warm to stand in a queue outside a primary school in whatever weather we’ll get that day.

Worried you may struggle to get out to vote?

Do a postal vote.

Dashing to the post box before the deadline is a Yuletide classic.

Christmas time post isn’t known to be reliable but if your postal vote gets lost it will probably turn up again years from now.

You’ll have voted in the 2034 election, which could easily still be mainly run along Brexit lines.

Will this festive election sort this whole mess out?

Maybe not.

A General Election isn’t the best way to sort out a single issue and due to the first-past-the-post system people living in safe seats will feel like they don’t have a say.

But this is what we have.

Learn to be grateful for what you get at Christmas.

It could have been a lump of coal.

The Christmas election comes down to this – which Santa will you want to visit you?

Will it be the old man with a white beard who wants to give things away to people but doesn’t seem to talk about how much that costs?

Or will it be the jolly man who has been the latest to reside at Number 10?

I can’t wait to find out.

READ MORE: Why don't we just all pretend Brexit is over?
Steve N Allen is a comedian and broadcaster who was raised in Sutton-in-Ashfield. Follow him on Twitter at @mrstevenallen.