Best laid plans can go to waste

Site of the new McDonalds off Beaumont Street G120114-4
Site of the new McDonalds off Beaumont Street G120114-4

IT’s all very well talking about 10,000 new homes for Gainsborough but I just can’t understand where they are going to go.

We’re not that big of a town, presumably to build this lot every patch of grass will have to be covered in two-up two-down little town houses.

And then there’s this vague notion of all these ‘possible’ ‘potential’ jobs. But until I see the jobs pages in the Standard bustling with ads I won’t believe it.

Last week council leader Burt Keimach was quoted saying there will be 25 hectares of land dedicated to employment.

“Including factories, retail centres and internet warehouses.”

What an earth is an internet warehouse when it’s at home?

I thought things on the internet didn’t take up any space anyway?

Perhaps it means Google will be branching out and having a shop in fair Gainsborough.

The story also stated that a whopping 2,500 new homes will be put on land South of Foxby Lane at a rate of 200 homes a year.

Well I hope some of the jobs materialise first because the last thing Gainsborough needs is more unemployed people in town competing for nonexistent jobs.

Then there’s the road system. For heaven sake Highways if you are taking the opportunity to redevelop Gainsborough then please use your noggins and get the traffic sorted first.

Can’t we have an effective ring road or something and a second Trent Bridge?

And don’t go building a road network and then after four or five road deaths decide the schools need zebra crossings and that speed humps need dotting about.

For once do all the roadworks in one go. I am sick of the temporary traffic lights that seem to pop up all over town with little or no warning.

Another part of Gainsborough’s plans for the future that caught by eye is the transformation that is going on over at the Plough on Church Street.

Apparently £350,000 has been thrown at transforming the old building into a ‘new business hub’.

Again yet more council jargon.

The hub will have innovative features like office space, a kitchen, desks, and a meeting room.

Well I tell you something we have all those things here at Gainsborough Towers and I would never dream of referring to this place as a ‘business hub’.

I presume the council mean ‘offices’, doesn’t sound quite so glamourous though does it?

At least when McDonald’s comes to town they’re quite clear about what we’re getting.

They don’t go referring to themselves as a gourmet American style restaurant serving up the finest braised beef on a bed of rocket all wrapped up in a fresh bread roll.

We’ll be ordering Big Macs all round instead. Let’s just hope it’s only the town that doubles in size and not the waist bands of the yokels elasticated trousers.

If we get too fat Jamie Oliver is likely to appear dressed as a leek to patronise everyone. No one wants that.