Nonsensical scheme

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We are writing to you to strongly voice our objections to the nonsensical scheme to close the junction of Lime Tree Avenue with Spital Hill in Gainsborough.

Upon first receiving notification of the intention to progress with this scheme I decided to undertake, I readily admit, a cursory study of the result of the scheme upon local residents and road users.

Although my research has been of a basic and, let us say, common-sensical approach, it seems to have brought to light several problems with the proposal to close the road that the trained chimps and ‘tic-tac-toe’ playing chicken that the council employed to come up with the idea either missed or thought irrelevant.

First of all let us consider access to the properties on Lime Tree Avenue. Bearing in mind that the properties most affected by the closure are occupied mostly by the elderly and disabled, myself included in the latter, closing of the road will mean that any vehicles, like an ambulance for example, attempting to collect or deposit residents would have to reverse up the road as there is insufficient space to turn large vehicles at the top.

Recent bad weather conditions highlight another problem as in bad weather ice prevents any vehicle driving up the hill. Fortunately most of the road users, except one who was a council employee I must note, realised that the Lincolnshire lad who discovered gravity knew what he was talking about.

Closing the road at the top of the hill would of course mean that no one would be able to negotiate the road, unless of course they were trained chimps and could swing from tree to tree or indeed a ‘tic-tac-toe’ playing chicken and could fly for short distances.

Restricting the direction of travel upon this road is not merely an inconvenience causing drivers to simply reverse. Once the street is closed off, any blockage of the road at any point would result in residents or emergency vehicles being stuck with no access in or out of the estate particularly in inclement weather.

Imagine having to plan your day around the refuse collection as the dustbin lorries would also be forced to reverse along the street as there is nowhere to turn on adjacent streets. Traffic would then be forced along the narrower exits on to The Avenue, which incidentally have steeper inclines, blind turns and junctions.

If the traffic is closed off at Lime Tree Avenue a further bottleneck will be created along Hawthorn Avenue as traffic will have to try and bypass parked cars along the stretch of road from Lime Tree to the junction with Spital Hill. Congestion at Marshalls Yard regularly backs traffic up along Spital Hill past this junction.

All right, it would be a handy place to hold a circus to entertain motorists stuck in traffic jams but once you’ve seen the chimps jump through hoops and been beaten at noughts and crosses by the chicken a few times you do tend to lose the will to live.

I was told by a council employee that there were two reasons behind closing the road. The first was to facilitate cyclists. What cyclists? In two days only three cyclists have travelled the route and two walked up the hill.

The second was that the junction was confusing. Now I have spent a couple of days watching the junction and can report that the only confused people using the junction were my father (he has Alzheimer’s), a lost poodle called Colin and myself who is confused by the whole scheme.

Quite frankly if a motorist is confused by the junction then they should not be behind the wheel of a motor vehicle.

In conclusion this scheme is farcical, nonsensical, unwarranted and unwanted, not to mention a complete waste of money. If you really want to help the confused then simply put up road signs either side of the junction, paint chevrons on the road to slow down the traffic, teach the kids at the school how to cross a road and then put the money saved from abandoning the scheme into keeping open the county’s nursing homes, tourist services and severance pay for the trained chimps and ‘tic-tac-toe’ playing chicken.

Dr Timothy Johnson, Lime Tree Avenue, Gainsborough;

Miss K. Turner, Lime Tree Avenue, Gainsborough.