Did you manage to emerge from Monday’s superstorm in one piece?
All weekend we were warned to batten down the hatches because the ‘biggest storm in years’ was about to batter the whole of the UK.
The way the media were going on, you would have thought the end of the world was nigh.
My frantic sister, whipped into a frenzy of panic by the warnings of impending doom, phoned me on Sunday to caution me that if I didn’t remain in my cabin for the following 48 hours, I would surely be blown overboard by the hurrican force winds.
Of course, for us Gainsbronians, Monday came and went with barely a whimper.
A total of 17 leaves were blown off trees in the area.
The cost of the damage caused to West Lindsey by the St Jude storm was estimated to run as high as 32 pence.
There was more wind in my cabin (I blame the dodgy takeway I had on Sunday night) than there was on the banks of the mighty River Trent.
So why all the hoo haa? It’s because the national media only think something is newsworthy if it happens in and around London.
We were treated to wall-to-wall coverage of choppy waters in the English Channel.
Let me tell you, if they think that was bad, they ought to sail on the Irish Sea in the depths of winter, I should know, I’ve done it enough times.
If anyone knows what a proper storm is like, it’s me. You don’t know what a storm is until you’ve seen a 70ft wave crashing over your bow around the Cape of Good Hope.
Them lot down south don’t care what’s happening to us, so why do they think we care a jot about what’s happening down there?
Scotland and Northern Ireland have severe gales like that all the time, but it barely ever gets a mention.
So why do we have this southern bias in our mainstream media?
Do more people live down there? No, the majority of the UK population don’t live in the south of England.
Maybe southerners are superior to us sub-human scum living north of Watford, but I’ve yet to see any compelling evidence of this.
It’s probably just down to lazy, inward-looking journalism.