Quotes of the year 2015

Former MP Edwina Currie.

Former MP Edwina Currie.

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From the funny to the downright daft, here’s a look at some of 2015’s best quotes

“I’m one of the middle-aged (OK, a bit older) females who are not embarrassed to say I believe in God - which is just about the most embarrassing thing you can own up to these days, even more than admitting you fancy someone under 30.” Broadcaster Janet Street-Porter, 68.

“When I look in the cupboard under the sink and see three unused bottles of hand wash, I realise that I am turning into my parents.” Comedian Sarah Millican, 40.

“It’s very hard to be married to a Beatle. Never, never, never... I’m single, I want to have fun but I don’t want to be married. It’s one thing I’m absolutely sure about.” Heather Mills, 47, former wife of Sir Paul McCartney.

“My pet hate is women’s shoes where you can see the toes, and the toes stray beyond the end of the shoe. I can’t bear to look. I find it awful. It is like I want to file them off.” Broadcaster Adrian Chiles, 48.

“I’m smashed. So smashed I think the waiters are hot.” Comedian and writer Jennifer Saunders, 57, after an intake of champagne.

“Life as an MP (or any kind of celebrity, I have discovered since) requires a strange mixture of egotism and altruism. It is a special kind of vanity.” Former MP Edwina Currie, 69.

“When they installed bungee ropes in the church tower, the bell ringers hit the roof.” Comedian Ken Dodd, 88.

“I thought I had driven to hell this morning. But no, it was just the school run.” Former Strictly Come Dancing judge Arlene Phillips, 72.

“Like a warm bath on a cold day, suds ‘n’ all.” Actor Chris O’ Dowd, 36, when asked what love feels like.

“My friends used to call him Grumpelstiltskin. He is grumpy.” Actress Liz Hurley, 50, on her former boyfriend Hugh Grant.

“You can’t do tracksuits, ladies. They are the number one cause of divorce in America. Tracksuits? No!” Actress Eva Mendes, 41.

“I’m a man, I can’t do two things at once. Don’t be ridiculous!” Prime Minister David Cameron, 49, after being asked why he couldn’t listen to music while out running in an interview with Heat magazine.

“We all come in different shapes, sizes and colours - even tomatoes. That’s what makes life so exciting.” Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, 40.

“Why are we still together after 15 years? Because I haven’t killed her yet.” TV presenter Phil Spencer, 46, joking about his co-presenter Kirstie Allsopp.

“I remember when we were doing a film, Clint Eastwood’s horse was acting up. This is when I knew he is a true Republican. He got off the horse, looked at the horse and socked him.” Actress Shirley MacLaine, 81.

“My grandfather once chased his Liberal candidate down the street, waving a stick. You can’t do that these days but at least it brought some life to campaigning.” Former MP Ann Widdecombe, 68.

“I have about 10lb that seems to come and go, and that has been the way for as long as I can remember. Maybe I should do something about them - finally say goodbye to them. Giving up those two spoonfuls in my coffee might help.” Actress Dame Helen Mirren, 70.

“It is its own entity: I think of it as something entirely separate to me. Probably the reason for it is the fact I’ve spent most of my adult life dancing around in very high heels.” Singer Kylie Minogue, 47, on her famous bottom.

“I can’t wait for them to get here. It is time we had a more interesting species to talk to. I very much hope they will be music lovers.” Soprano Lesley Garrett, 60, on looking forward to visitors from outer space.

“I am definitely fond of my boyfriend, Richard Curtis. It has been 25 years though I still won’t marry him in case someone better comes along.” Broadcaster Emma Freud, 53.

“In my day, 58 beers between London and Sydney would have classified you as a teetotaller.” Former Australian cricket captain Ian Chappell, 72, as the Aussies Ashes squad arrived in Britain.

“I am slowly falling apart and feel like a walking spare parts depot. I have a fake knee. I have a fake hip. I’ve got a lot of metal in my back - it’s a field day at the airport.” Actress Jane Fonda, 77.

“It goes so fast that you can still remember why you went upstairs.” Actress June Whitfield, 90, on the latest stairlift model.

“Now they want to give me a decade of hotness. I’m like, ‘Bring it on’. You really like to be hot after you’re 40.” Actress Salma Hayek, 49, on the attitude of her film bosses.

“My parents used to tell me off for licking my plate, but if the food is good it’s a great compliment. Smelling is the overture, eating is the main act, licking is the curtain call.” Actor Richard E. Grant, 58.

“I am here to lift your spirits, like a boob job for your soul.” Singer and actress Bette Midler, 70.

“The studded leather mini-dress looked good from a distance of, say, 200 miles. Up close it would frighten a gargoyle.” Author Kathy Lette, 57, on looking for clothes in a charity shop

“Sometimes I think I’m Madonna, but I get confused with the check-out girl at Tesco.” Downton Abbey star Joanne Froggatt, 35.

“My hair has stopped growing. In fact it is growing shorter.” TV personality Jonathan Ross, 55.

“I’m a pretty shambolic person. I don’t have the qualifications to say to people, ‘You can’t eat that, you can’t eat this’. I’m not in a position to preach anything to anyone else.” Celebrity chef Nigella Lawson, 55.

“I’ve got more chandeliers in my toilet.” Singer Elton John, 68, complaining about the dim lights as he made a speech in the US ambassador’s London residence.

“They don’t want to hire all of me - only about three-quarters! Nothing changes, it’s an appearance-driven thing. I’m in a business where the only thing that matters is weight and appearance. That is so messed up.” Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher, 59

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