Captain’s Column: Egg-cellent! It’s all over, good

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ANOTHER Bank Holiday has been and gone. Well ‘good’, I say.

I don’t work Friday’s anyway and Good Friday was a nightmare with everyone off wondering aimlessly about Gainsborough.

The supermarket was clogged up, the roads were clogged up and I was forced into a family gathering at my sister’s home on Park Springs.

Her estate was rammed with little hooligans shouting and screaming at each other. The parents were just as bad.

One mum opened her front door and screeched ‘you tell them it’s better to be fat than ugly’.

I glanced around and after a quick assessment decided she wasn’t in fact talking to me, but was instead bellowing at her heavily overweight son, who seemed to be suffering from both afflictions.

The point is her son didn’t have to be fat did he? And what is Easter if not just another opportunity for us to all put our feet up, open our gobs and trough down chocolate.

Well I’m no fool. If I want to eat Dairy Milk I’ll go buy a big 500g bar and eat it whenever I like. You won’t catch me getting sucked into spending £5.50 on a load of packaging and a tiny sliver of egg shaped chocolate.

What’s worse is the idiots who get sucked into buying this junk because it comes with something else, like a mug or a chocolate bar.

Can’t they see they could have twice the goodies for half the price? Or, if you have to buy Easter Eggs at least be savvy enough to go out now and buy them for a few pence.

One Easter tradition that I could happily stomach all year round, the blessed Hot Cross Bun. If I had my way these would be stocked all year round. In fact given how early all the Christmas junk appears on the shelves why don’t these great symbols of Easter appear in January? Perhaps next year my New Year’s resolution will be to petition for the early arrival of these delicious baked morsels.